The Ending, Part 1

Hey! I know I've been M.I.A for a while, been caught up with basically, well, life. Unfortunately so far I can't promise I'll be continuing Walls but I had a sudden impulse to write and I listened to that impulse. I have no idea who's reading this, absolutely no idea if anyone will actually keep reading this but I still wanted to share it to any of the old or even new readers that come by my blog, if it's today, tomorrow or few weeks down the line.

I hope you enjoy this random idea I got. If anyone's out there, feel free to tweet or comment down below (you can comment anonymously) about what you think of this new story.

Hope everyone's having a lovely summer! I've missed you all and most importantly, I've missed writing.

xoxo

-

Part 1:

January 14th.

It was a Wednesday.

That was when I met the ending.

I call it the ending because it was the ending of all the things I thought that mattered most to me. I call it the ending because it only brought a whole hundred new beginnings to me. Beginnings I couldn’t fathom into parts or words I knew how to make any sense of.

The ending had dark eyes of liquorice black and pale lips.

The ending was standing right in front of me now with cold set eyes and a heartbreaking frown.

You see, it’s not January 14th anymore.

It’s July 22nd.

It’s another Wednesday.

But this time, I’m not meeting her. 

I’m saying goodbye to her.

-

“Bader, emsh khala9, lay meta bit’thil chithe?” Her words were ringing in my ears but I ignored them.

“Bader, ga3da akelmk ana! Shfeek ta7girny?!” Her words became louder but the meaning in her words were slipping through her lips and down to the ground, not making its way into any part of my mind.

“Shtabeen?” I spit at her.

“Kalimni 3adl!” Her voice kept getting louder and louder, it was giving me a split headache, I wanted her gone.

“6l3ay bara bas!” I yelled, I felt her jump to the sound of my voice and a tiny part of me ached to watch her get so scared at the simple sound of my voice. I ignored that tiny part of me just as much as I was trying to ignore every piece of her.

“I-I h-hate you,” she breathed the words out slowly but the ice in each syllable were colder than any windstorm I’ve endured.

“The feeling is mutual,” I puffed out a smoke into her stricken face before dumping my cup of coffee into the trash bin closest to me as I made my way to leave the hall.

And there goes the ending to an ending I never wanted anything to do with anymore.

-

January 14th.

“Tabe etjarb?” Faisal hissed, his breath smelled of whisky and cigarettes. He was canoodling a cup of “apple juice” that didn’t smell like “apple juice”. The idiot brought alcohol with him wherever he went, not caring to be caught and kept most of it in his Starbucks coffee cup. Guys like him made mothers like mine too protective over her sons. 

“Yal 7m*r, bask! E7na mu eb Amreeka!” I smacked the back of his chubby bald head. Faisal winced, his light eyes bloodshot and sad.

“Oula shd3wa, ga3den bel diwaneya, mnu bishufni al7en?” Faisal smirked, his stubble beard were lightly hiding his dimples that were so engraved into his chubby cheeks you could still see them miles away.

“Madre laish radeit m3ay el Kuwait, chan g3dt mnak a7sanlk,” I rubbed my fingertips deep into my forehead, trying to soothe the headache that was already forming because of the dipsh*t sitting next to me. We were the only two in the diwaneya but I knew for a fact that Ibrahim and Rashed were expected to be here anytime soon. They were the most noble and white hearted of my cousins but that didn’t mean they had an open art to alcoholics like Faisal. They would ultimately kick him out in a heartbeat and then I’d have to fix Faisal’s mess and try to cover up for him, for the hundredth thousandth time already.

“Shasawe bru7i!” Faisal shook his head in denial.

He was an alright guy, he had a good heart, he just couldn’t hold his liquor and couldn’t hold himself either. His parents deceased and him being the only child, he basically just had me. We've been friends since we were five, he was corrupt ever since our teen years but that didn’t scratch away the kindness in his heart.

The kind of kindness that too many of our friends took advantage of.

“Allah yekhaleek bs khesha w ghasl wayhik gabl la elshabab eyoun,” I heaved a sigh.

“Enzain enzain,” Faisal groaned, he tried getting up from the couch but he was too tipsy, he lost his balance and fell back onto his fat ass.

“Khalik, 3a6ni el cup bas w ent nam shwy, okay?” I got up and grabbed the cup away from his weak hands before he could protest. I put a lid over the cup making sure the smell would no longer dance around us and tempt Faisal any longer. Faisal nodded and laid back down, passing out in seconds.

“Khalk nayem, ana baru7 w ared,” I told Faisal after hiding the cup in the secret hiding place (which is behind the old beaten up Xbox we never used anymore). Faisal didn’t bother replying, he was literally gone into alcoholic dreamland. I don’t even know why I bother even talking to him when he’s so knocked out.

I grab the closest car keys to me, not bothering to check which car I chose. By the time I was outside, I was starting the engine of the Wrangler, ready to cruise aimlessly around to pass time until the guys would call me up to ask where I was.

That’s when I first saw her.

I was grabbing a pack of cigarettes and waited in line at the cashier. I don’t know how I ended up in Adaileya (*Adaileya is an area in Kuwait) and ironically it wasn’t for the coffee either, I didn’t bother going in Starbucks. It was packed and I could see multiple guys I knew hanging about with their espressos and cigarettes wrapped around their fingers; but I didn’t have the heart today to smile and make small chit chat about America and university. What was the point? I was leaving in 3 days and they knew how to contact me if they needed anything.

She wasn’t anything special. I don’t get why she caught my eye. It wasn’t her liquorice black eyes, nor were it was the pale colour of her full lips; nor the irregular shape of her body and her short height next to mine. Her skin was ashen and it only made me seem even more tanned standing next to her. Maybe it was the scent of smoke in her dark hair or the stricken look she had on her face as she was fumbling in her purse, trying to find change to pay for her groceries.

I still have no idea what it was but all I knew that I was staring right at her and my eyes were boring into her, burning holes into her skin, watching her until her liquorice eyes met mine and caught me staring. I quickly looked away and felt embarrassed for being caught. I shook off the embarrassment and finally got to my turn in line. I paid for the pack of cigarettes and walked off, not bothering to look around for her.

I didn’t think she’d come looking for me though.

“Wait,” I heard a female voice behind me before I could climb into my car, I had a cigarette already planted in between my lips, just waiting to be lit.

“Ha?” I looked at her, surprised.

“Dgeega, la etrou7…” She looked straight through into my eyes, not being shy enough to look down or to fiddle with the plastic bag in her small hands.

“A3rfch?” I asked, frown lines forming in my forehead.

“La2 bas I need a ride.”

“Shnu?” I’m pretty sure my eyes popped out of its sockets about now, my cigarette was dangling in between my lips, risking to topple over and fall down to the ground.

“I need a ride,” she repeated her words firmly and I could see a small bump on her nose now I didn’t notice before.

“Shufay, tana7t gabl shway blghala6, la tifhimeeni ghala6 mabe araqmch wla abeech,” I held my hands up in defence trying to explain myself, not wanting her to misunderstand my behaviour a few minutes ago.

“Adre, mala sheghl.”

“Entay men 9ijich? Ma et3rfeeny! W laish tabeeni ag6ch? Ma etkhafeen ra7 asawe feech shay? Sum3tch? Enzain mnu yaybch 3nd el jam3ya? Dgay 3leeh w rday el bait,” I was growing even more surprised by the second by her behaviour.

“La2.”

“Shnu la2?!”

“La2. Give me a ride.”

“What the f*ck is up with you?” I suddenly spat at her, my American behaviour taking the best of me.

“Na3am?” She looked like as if I slapped her in the face, her hands were clenching the plastic bags now tightly, as if she was suddenly nervous.

“I-I mean, qa9de,” I corrected my words and suddenly I was out of words. I sighed. I looked at her again and lit the cigarette, taking a long inhale of smoke into my lungs to relax my nerves. I remembered my mother’s words, never mistreat a woman, no matter if she was a foreigner or one of our own, always treat a woman with respect and I valued her words deeply.

“Okay,” I shook my head in surprise as I said the following words, “wain agi6ch?”

“Shaghl el sayara awal,” the nervousness I sensed from her suddenly disappeared and she spoke with total confidence. She walked straight over to the passenger’s seat without waiting for any more of a permission from me, controlling the whole situation for me. I was gobsmacked, I was gone from Kuwait for six years now but did women in Kuwait seriously become this open minded? Even the American women I encountered back in Los Angeles didn’t ask strangers for rides, much less conduct such a controlling conversation with them.

Most guys would be psyched, this was the easiest way to get a girl, without having to do sh*t but I was too surprised by her behaviour to see this as an exciting adventure, nor was I looking for a Kuwaiti girlfriend to hook up with before I left back for the states.

“Entay shnu mwthu3ch belthab6?” I looked to my right once I had the car started and was on the road.

“Ma 3nde mwthu3,” she kept looking straight and her hands were still digging deep into her plastic bag.

“Okay…” I shook my head in utter confusion and ignored the fact that she was making no sense at all. “Al7en wain ag6ch? W shun btgouleen 7g ahalch etha shafuni? Tara kasha male khlgg meshakl!”

“La t7aty, ma7ad bel bait,” she spoke to the window.

“Um, alright. Sakna b3daileya?”

“Ee.”

“Enzain wain?”

“Ma3rf el 3nwan bas adaleek.”

“Mashe, wain aru7 al7en?” I slowed down my driving and awaited her directions but she gave me none.

“Bas kamil seeda,” she kept fidgeting, I rolled down the windows and puffed out a smoke.

“Enzain,” I listened and grew even more confused by the second. She kept giving me general directions and after a twenty minutes I realised we had passed the same street three times by now and she still hadn’t pointed a house out for me to park next to.

“Shfeech entay?!” I suddenly stopped the car by the street and turned to look at her. She turned towards me and met my eyes.

“Shfeeni?” She asked coldly.

“9arlena nu9 sa3a en7ous w mareina yem nafs el shari3 3 marat! Shl salfa?! Wain baitkom?!” I was growing impatient and I could hear the whatsapp notifications I was getting from the guys, they were spamming me, asking where I was and I was avoiding the messages, hoping to text them back as soon as I was done with this weird ass girl.

“Tell me something.”

“Shagoulch?!”

“Shrayek bel ghneya?” She suddenly gave me a smile. I didn’t think this woman had the face of a beautiful smile but as soon as a smile caught her lips her whole face was painted in a whole different way for me. Her eyes remained dark but her cheek bones suddenly were heightened and the sharp edges of her shape softened, her lips didn’t look so pale anymore and she had a certain life to her. And here I thought she couldn’t surprise me any more.

“G-ghneya?” I stuttered. I suddenly noticed that the radio was on all this time and The Script’s “Superheroes” was playing.

“Oula, shakhbare!” I grinned, surprised she even knew the song. 

“7lwa, mu?” She nodded along to the beat.

“Eee bs al7een hatha mu mwthu3na,” I shook my head in disapproval. “Shsmch entay? Wain ahalch?”

“Reem.”

“Reem shnu enzain? Khan a3rf wain ag6ch! Shfeech em7ncha?”

“Mu em7ncha,” she shrugged, her words slurring slightly as she kept nodding slowly to the song.

“3yal jawbeeny w khal9eeny!”

“Ajawb 3la shnu?”

I was growing frustrated, she no longer looked beautiful, she was rather annoying and I wanted to ignore all the values my mother taught me and strangle this stupid child who was in a woman’s body.

“Fffh, baridch el jam3ya male sheghl feech, madre shsalftch jad,” I muttered and started the car again. She didn’t say anything and I didn’t bother asking again.

“3ade agoulk shay gabel la etru7?” She suddenly broke the silence when we reached closer to the supermarket.

“Goulay khal9eena,” I muttered, sucking the life out of the cigarette in-between my lips.

“You’re a good guy,” she gently said, slurring her words.

“Ha?” I turned to look at her, surprised.

Did I hear her right?

“You’re a good person,” she repeated her words with a louder tone but her words were heavily slurred still.

“W entay sh3rfch feene? Mynuna entay etru7een 3nd wa7d ma et3rfeena w etkhaleena ysoug feech chithe? Jad shfech entay? Ma etkhafeen 3la nafsch?” I grew angry. “What if I raped you? You’re lucky I’m decent w ma sawait feech shay, jad nerfezteeny!” I kept mouthing off at her and I couldn’t look at her to see her reaction, I was focusing on the road but once I reached the supermarket, I finally could turn to look at her once I was done giving her a lecture.

I nearly had a heart attack once I saw the girl sprawled over the passenger’s seat, passed out and I could see her pale lips parted, her breathing slowing down.

“Reem!” I grabbed her shoulders and shook her but she was limp, she wouldn’t move and the plastic bag she was clenching dropped down to the seat floor, exposing the empty pill containers, there were at least 5 or 6 empty ones and I couldn’t even make out the names on the containers, I had no idea what they were but whatever they were, they were killing this stranger right in front of me…

What the hell did I just bring myself into?!