I had such a long day today (my days have been super long everyday now::), this is what school/university/work does to you. I miss summer! I don't miss the weather, but the vacation? Definitely! Who else is looking forward to that tall boots, soft sweater and short days season? I hope everyone's coping with work/uni/school, there's always the part where you get to see your friends everyday and in my high school days, they were the most hyper/craziest ones. So I guess the whole summer ending thing isn't all that bad:p there's always next summer of 2013 to look forward to (enshallah). Haha, hope you enjoy this chapter, I don't think it will be that long since I need to have dinner and sleep soon (early nights when you have early classes).
Farah & Lema; this chapter goes out to you two beautiful sisters! Meeting you two coincidentally was simply amazing, the most cutest and nicest girls I've ever met, and the craziest Masquerade lovers too! This goes out to you two, much love. PS: Farah emnawraa el jam3a kilha. x
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Previously in Chapter 32
"Yalla?" 3abbas looked over to me in the pine tree air freshener smelling car. I nodded, pushing the passenger door open to walk up to the house with 3abbas by my side.
I pressed a finger over the plastic doorbell. We both waited patiently after hearing thedingalonglong of the sound of the doorbell. Finally, the peach painted door was pulled open by a figure.
"You." The figure breathed out in disgust.
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My eyes were placed over two squinty ones, I looked down, since the figure was pretty short. And what did I find?
Shamlan.
"Et3arfoun b3a'9?" 3abbas asked me, looking confused. His eyes curiously looked back at Shamlan, questioning why his eyes were full of hatred for me. I had a rough idea why the dude hated my guts.
"Unfortunately," I groaned under my breath but Shamlan caught me, his eyes glared right at me, shooting laser through his dark maroon pupils.
"Shtabe?" Shamlan spit out, his question aimed at me.
"Akeed el bait ghala6, t3al 3abbas." I was in the midst of turning around and re-checking 3abbas's tracker on his laptop but 3abbas's hand grabbed my elbow, stopping me before I could escape. I had an anger problem, if I saw that mouse's face once again or heard his squeamish voice, I'm pretty sure I'd punch his ratty face into the hard concrete ground.
"Thari, the house's right," 3abbas looked annoyed, wanting to get this situation over with. He took control and continued talking, this time, to Shamlan instead of me. "Sheft'ha?"
I turned around and found 3abbas holding up a picture of my Mom. It was an old picture of her, she had a wide smile, her eyes squinting slightly as wrinkles formed along her forehead and around her delicate eyes. I could see my Dad's arm next to her, but he was obviously cropped out. He looked like a corpse arm, just laying next to her.
"Rafeejat ome, ga3da titghada 3ndna al7een, laish?" Shamlan's rough exterior was replaced with a curious expression.
"Omi mawjouda 3ndekom?" I suddenly blurted out.
"Omik?" Shamlan looked disgusted once again as soon as I spoke. "Akeed you two are related?
"Jawib 3la-" I began to shout but 3abbas held an arm in front of me, stopping me from touching or trying to punch that annoying little mouse.
"Had a39abik Thari! Walla yahal entow." 3abbas chuckled, finding it funny. Shamlan just looked frightened, he already took a step back, too scared that I'd punch him with my glare. "Al7een negder endish? Eee ehya oma."
"Mu men 9ijik 9a7? Adakhil hal athwal eb baiti?" Shamlan regained his confidence, trying to siwlr some masculinity into his voice, making it deeper but the act didn't scare or fool me. Not for a second. It just made me want to tear 3abbas's arm off so I can kill that rat.
"Thari, stay here. Ana badish." 3abbas shook his head in annoyance.
"Baitik? Qa9dik bait omik w obouk," I hissed under my breath, ridiculing Shamlan. 3abbas took a step forward, walking into the house. I was about to get my chance to sneak in or push Shamlan out of the way but the little mouse was too fast, he shut the door in my face with a loud bang, locking me out.
That son of..
And with that, a hundred curse words ran in and out of my head, angering me even further. For some reason, once I was done saying the hundred curse words, spitting them out, hissing through my teeth, I heard the door unlock and open. I quickly looked up from the ground, the ground that my foot kept kicking at in a frustrated way, and found my mother next to 3abbas.
I was hoping Shamlan was with them too so I could get a punch at him for a minute but he wasn't there. My mom's eyes were depressed, they looped slightly, her once wrinkled yet vibrant smile was replaced with a half frown, looking unhappy that I found her.
"Khaleiteena m3a obouy brou7na? Khaleitay Wath7a brou7ha?" Suddenly my anger wasn't aimed at Shamlan anymore, they were aimed at my mother and father.
"Thari chem mara lazem agoulk had a39abik?" 3abbas hissed, his eyes forcefully trying to calm me down.
"Shnu? Mu mistansa ena wldch jidamch al7een? Ley hal deraja entay w obouy ma taboune?" My voice started to crack, my anger melting away. Sorrow filed my heart, for all those picture perfect years, being pure lies. We were merely a photoshopped picture, made to look beautiful on the outside.
"Thari ma tadre shga3d y9eer bel bait! Enta kelyoum hayet, emsafer aw nayem eb bait 3abbas!" Mom unleashed her words, she was silent but now she was finally shouting back, using her anger towards my father as an excuse to blame it on me.
"Shnu thanb Wath7a?" I didn't bother arguing about her points about me. My words silenced her. Her mouth hung open for a few seconds, ready to strike back with more words but she quickly shut her mouth back up, unable to find an excuse.
"Did you know she's forcing your daughter to call her mom?" I quietly said. I didn't notice the fact that 3abbas has already left our side and was in the car, giving us both privacy to talk.
"Zoujat obouk?" My mom finally found her words, her eyes were full of glassy tears, ready to shatter and spill.
"Ana rayal, mu yahel, I don't need either of you." I spat out in disgust. "Bas Wath7a yahel, don't ruin her childhood like you ruined mine."
"Thari-" My mother began once again, her tears spilling over, her cheeks now wet and flooded.
"Wath7a ekrehat obouy, la etkhaleenha tikrihich entay b3ad," I breathed out my last words, holding my hand up to cut off her argument.
"Thari you don't know what's happening." My mom called out, her voice cracking once I turned around to give her my back, ready to walk away.
"3yal tell me!" I called out, my back still in view. I was waiting for something, I was waiting for her to stop me, or say something that would stop me, or her calling my name, I was waiting for SOMETHING. I even slowed down my pace to the car, giving her all the time to speak up.
But do you know what I heard instead?
Shamlan's house door. It was shut and locked, not even a word or whisper, but instead the sound of the bang of the door. I clenched my fingers into hard fists, finding this hard to believe. I simply pulled the passenger door of the car open, sitting right alongside 3abbas. He didn't say anything, he twisted the keys in the ignition and started the engine, driving away from Shamlan's house.
"She'll come around." 3abbas suddenly said, breaking the silence once we were on the road.
After 15 minutes of spacing out, just unable to speak. I found that 3abbas parked outside Starbucks. I followed him out of the car, feeling numb. He ordered a cup of black coffee for me as I sat at a table in the middle of the cafe.
"Kaa, yalla eshrab." 3abbas handed me the coffee beaned scented cup. The smell was strong, just smelling the drink woke up half of the cells on my body. I drank the first shot down, the hot liquid oozing around in my throat once it was done filling my mouth, my taste buds cringed at the strong metallic taste. 0 sugar, 100% coffee.
But even the drink wasn't enough. I needed something else.
A wad of smoke swirled in front of me, blurring my vision for a second. I looked up from my drink, my fingers clutching the once hot empty cup. 3abbas had already lit up a cigarette and had it wedged in between his lips. The smoke was seducing me, I noticed 3abbas's shoulders relax as soon as he inhaled the smoke into his raspy lungs.
The cigarette packet was in front of me on the wooden table, along with 3abbas's blood red lighter. I ignored my brain for a moment and reached out to take one cigarette from the packet. Just one, it wouldn't hurt, right? I lit up the cigarette, I've watched 3abbas do this a hundred times but my fingers wobbled in an amateur way. 3abbas watched me in amusement.
I finally had the cigarette in between my lips, I forcefully took a long puff of smoke into me. I ended up coughing uncontrollably, the smoke burnt my lungs and the taste disgusted the small taste buds on my tongue. I was about to throw the cigarette away but the after feeling of the cigarette left me wanting more of the disgusting taste. It wasn't pleasant, but it sure as hell made me feel less stressed.
And soon enough, I had already smoked my first cigarette and was grabbing my second.
Just one more Thari.
I kept saying that to myself, until I practically finished 3abbas's pack of cigarettes.
"Offh shway shway!" 3abbas laughed at how quick I was from finishing his pack of cigarettes.
"Weeeh, ma 3ndek akthar?" I lazily asked.
"Fee baqala (*baqala = a small supermarket) yemna." 3abbas pointed to the small building next to Starbucks. I hurried over to the lit building, the sliding doors causing a waft of wind to rush into my clothes before I was in front of the magazine section, where the cigarettes were displayed.
I chose the same packet of cigarettes as 3abbas's, but I chose a bigger packet than his, knowing now I would crave for more if I finished them.
"Denny, do we need more cereal? Or is this enough?" A female's voice was speaking behind me.
"No no Layal, we bought too much already," a Filipino lady replied.
Layal?
I turned around, my hands gripping two big packs of cigarettes. What was also next to me? The cashier. The stupid, stupid cashier which Layal was at, waiting for her turn. She wore a pair of comfortable Free City sweats, uggs and a simple white long sleeved shirt, her face clear of make up. Her coloured eyes found mine, staring right at her. She looked excited to have seen me, but her eyes quickly looked down at my hands, which were holding the cigarettes. Next, her nose started to sniff about, she easily caught the scent of smoke on me.
The next thing I knew, she gave me her back, ignoring my existence and continuing to pay for her groceries. I was confused, what was going on? I watched her leave and continue ignoring me. Was it because her housekeeper was with her? That's why she ignored me?
My Samsung vibrated in my pocket, I dropped the packs of cigarettes onto the cashier table and slid my fingers into the warmth of my pocket to retrieve my cellphone. I ignored my mentions on Twitter and Instagram, scrolled through my Whatsapp chats to find Layal's chat, with a new message from her.
Layal: I asked Ebrahim (remember who he is? My brother? The one you told me you were good friends with?) if he knew you, he told me he didn't know you or know your name. I didn't want to be a jerk and assume bad things about you, I said oh how cute Thari made up an excuse just so he could help me out, it wasn't something bad he lied about. But then, I see you with those cigarettes, the disgusting smell of them was all over you, I could smell it, no matter how big the distance was between us. You told me you didn't smoke, one more lie Thari. One more lie to your list of them, what else did you lie about? Or you know what? I don't even care;* kheera, thanks for showing me your true colours, bye Thari.
And just like that.
I was blocked from her Whatsapp, Twitter.. everything.
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