Chapter 12

 I clicked on bbm and took a deep breath as I noticed one strange thing.

I had a bbm friend request from Ali.

Accept? Decline? Ignore future requests?

What should I do?

I longed for the old conversations we had, he made me smile and laugh numerous times. He always had the way of easing my pain. Could I throw away 5 months away with one click?

I stared long and hard at the decline button. My finger started to shiver against the middle button on the blackberry.

Come on. Do it. 

But..

Stop, you're pathetic. Decline him, he hurt you. Nour hurt you, stop being so weak.

I would probably regret this decision one day. I brushed my finger tip over the button moving the click onto the Accept button and I clicked on it.

I let out a long sigh of relief, I could feel the pang in my chest fading a bit. Just a bit. My heart was racing, was he going to talk to me first? Did I have to wait till he said something or were we going to act like nothing ever happened?

Ali N;*:
Halla.

I stared at the message. That's all? He sounded.. so cold.


Shoug♥:
Hi.

Ali N;*:
Tra ana warach.

WHAT? I turned quickly to look for a dark figure. I quickly stood up and found familiar dark brown eyes staring right at me. I looked down at my blackberry, too shocked to speak out loud.

Shoug♥:
  What are you doing here?!


Ali N;*:
Hatha shalaihna. 


I looked back up to his face, he wasn't that far by I could see his poker face. He had an expressionless face on, as if he was a stranger now. That angered me, it pushed to me to talk first.


Shoug♥:
 You blocked me from msn, khasheit 3ani enik kent et7ib bent khalte. Chathabt 3lay w b3dain etgouly I'm not worth it?! Shtabe al7een? 


Ali N;*:
Entay geltay 3ani jaikr! Entay ely chathebtay 3lay, so yes you're not worth it.

I took quick paces and stood right in front of him, I looked straight into those eyes I've loved for so long before I could speak.

"I never, never said those words about you. You would believe Nour over me? I was your bestfriend for 5 months Ali. Is that nothing to you? And if I'm not worth it then why waste my time and add me again? Shnu el hadaf al7een? Shtabe meni!?" My eyes filled up with tears as my voice became cracked, my voice became louder by every word.

"Et3arfeen laish I blocked you? Laish wakhart 3anich w ma gemt akalmich?" He kept his voice calm.

"Laish?" I asked faintly, holding back my tears.

"Kent a7ebich bs entay gimtay etsoulfeen 3an wa7d ghairy jidamy, jera7teeny Shoug.. fa wakhart 3anich, 7awalt ansach b3dain Nour gamet etdizly DMs w giltleha 3anich w kileshay.. kent bagoulich eni a7ebech chan ehya etgouly enich et7been wa7d thany.. w shiftech elyoum, m3a 7beebich. Entay ely chathabtay 3lay! Khashaitay hal shay 3ani w kent 3bali kentay et7beeni!" His voice shifted to cold to pure pain, his hands moved around a lot as he explained. His fury in his eyes.

All I could do was stare at him.

I was shocked.

"Men meta I have a boyfriend?" I asked.

"Hatha ely ga3d m3ach 3la el ba7ar twa! Shiftkum..."

"You idiot, that was my brother's friend! Walla ghaby, etrou7 et9adigha w ma tis2alny? B3dain you decide to love her? Make up your mind Ali, if you loved me then you wouldn't be capable of loving someone else! I never lied to you, you never asked me about these things. You can't blame me on something I never did..." I took a step away from him. My own best friend would believe someone he barely knows over me?

"Shoug, ni6ray.." He stretched out his hand, trying to reach for mine. I pulled away.

"Wakhir 3ani, bs wakhir!" I turned around and took quick steps, walking as fast as I could towards our shaleih. I was in plain view and he wouldn't run after me, people would see us.

 But it would have been nice if he did, if I was worth it. He didn't even bother.

I felt numb again, the ache in my chest grew wider. He's with my cousin but he loves me? Or he loves us both at the same time? Or did he get over me? 

I didn't want to know anymore, I wasn't a b*tch. If Nour truly loved him then I'd stay away from him, I wouldn't act the way she did. I was better than this.


I collided with Nour as I was trying to walk up the steps towards our shaleih.


"Oh Shougo!" She smiled warmly at me, "Kent ga3da adewrich, bi7i6oun el 3asha."


"You're a backstabber." I stated the words slowly in her face until she digested them, I saw her eyes widen in surprise as I walked away.